Miranda the Marvelous

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Travis sat down on the rusty benches of his school’s cafeteria tables. Before he could even get a taste of the school’s lunch, Miranda began to talk.

“Have you ever considered conducting an experiment?”

“Can’t say I haven’t” Travis replied. It was a shockingly normal question from her, but he didn’t hold his breath on it staying normal.

“Well, how would you like to participate in one? Of course, it’d be conducted by me” She avoided his eye contact. It was like her sandwich was the most peculiar thing in the world. He grew uneasy.

“You’re going to have to elaborate on that” He forked the school lunch, mush to be exact, waiting for her explanation. As always, he was piqued by Miranda’s random whims, but an experiment? He knew better than to sign up without questions.

“Can’t we keep it a secret? Secrecy is also a part of the experiment, perhaps the basis for it entirely” She waved her hands grandly in the air. Miranda was always one for the theatrics.

“No” Travis forked the mush into his mouth and immediately spit it out. Jugging down warm milk, he said disgustedly “I don’t even know why I bother with school lunch. I’m better off eating trash”

“School lunch is bile” Miranda agreed. She brought her sandwich to her mouth, averting her eyes to the wall ahead of them.

“Isn’t that the school’s sandwich?”

“That’s beside the point. Will you do the experiment, Travis? I can assure you no unnecessary harm will be done. It might, well I actually know it will, give you pleasure in the…uh…physical sense”

Travis smirked. “Miranda, last time anything you pulled me into that gave me “pleasure” was a trip to the animal fair. I don’t think you even meant for the kittens to like me that much”

“No, no, no,” she sighed. “That’s not it this time. I mean actual pleasure. Think, Travis, what’s a boy got to do for a physical pleasure sensation?”

He slowly realized what she was getting at. “Believe it or not, Miranda, I have morals. I wouldn’t just sleep with anyone. Especially for a mere experiment, by the way, you never told me what kind of information you could get from se- what you just implied”

“Well, no one has recorded it before. It’s kind of illegal, in the States at least. I’m not sure about other countries”

“What? Are we on the same page? I’m one hundred percent sure, I guarantee you, that it’s not illegal unless you hire someone for the job. And I’m no hooker, either, so don’t think I’m helping you with this. I don’t even think you should go through with it if you don’t even know if it’s legal”

“S-E-X, Sex, Travis, is legal. Sex with animals, however, is not legal whatsoever” She was reading her smart phone, her eyes squinted. Travis couldn’t even believe she had to look it up, or that she wanted to conduct an experiment on it.

“You’re a bit disturbing for thinking of it in the first place,” Travis said. “What I want to know  is how did you even think of it?”

“I was checking out a book on the female anatomy and saw that female sheep have the same special parts as us women” She said it so casually, Travis wasn’t even fazed. Miranda was an interesting person, she had always been one, but there was no doubt that she was a weirdo.

“You’re a weird one” he said.

As usual, Miranda replied “That’s a matter of perspective”.

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