Alright so this time it’s been TWO YEARS since I’ve posted. I’m not even active on my “other half” as much. There’s a reason for this… College Life.
No, I have not been partying hard and getting turnt. My life for the last two years consisted of me working to pay to apply and attend college. Yes, you read it right, apply to college. You would not believe the amount of money it costs to simply apply for colleges. I applied to seven colleges, each application ranging from $45-$75. The question that derived from this money pit was, “If we have to go to college because we need a degree to survive this economy, why must we pay for it?”
Anyhow, as that question remains unanswered, let me express my supreme joy to be back blogging again. Life got the better of me over the last two years. I neglected this sweet blog, forgetting about it entirely. I’m sure I’ve lost whatever followers I had. However, if Missy Elliot can make a comeback from the early 2000’s, so can I. Stay updated with me, next post I’ll be answering that question as well as posting a more detailed summary of my last two years.
I’m trying to fill the gap of my insecurities with the words of others
And I want to believe them but society shows I can’t
Be anything other than my imperfections
Belly fat, ugly, alone
Because I don’t know what I want to do with life
College, graduate, in-crowd
Smoke and drink and party
Till the world goes round’
I will always be my imperfections
And until I die my soul
Will always be tortured with selfishness and gaping holes
I fill the emptiness with the words from others
Because if they at least say I’m beautiful
It gives me the tiniest of hope
Sometimes that’s all anybody needs
I am absurdly obsessed with this quote (not so much the movie); it’s like my entire belief summarized.
All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone to make us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, someone perfect is searching for us
– The Wonder Years
I’m not sure if it’s better to feign ignorance or actually be ignorant. Each option has an appeal, but the latter one is terrifyingly powerful. If I were ignorant, like a baby for example, how happy would my life be?
It’s easy to be happy when you don’t know much about the world; but then you can’t protect yourself as much as you need..you’d have to rely on others. And we all know trust is a major issue in life, it doesn’t come as easily and it certainly doesn’t stay.
Ignorance is bliss? It’s debatable. Think about it for awhile. Leave a comment if you want.